Taking care of the Elderly Person with Compassion
77Caring for the Elderly
This is my own personal experience that I would like to share with my readers !!!
It started out only as a job.... but ended up much more than that.
I began working for our Local Council as what was classified as a Home Carer. This position was primarily to help people with health problems, or other reasons to stay in their own homes.
Our main duties were to clean their homes from top to bottom, once a week in some cases once a fortnight, also shop for them, do their banking etc, Also to be a genuinely good listener.
After caring for these people over a long period of time a bond developed and a strong friendship was formed!
Mobility
Some of the folks who I met had a little more independence than others.
Simply because they could still drive their cars. Some outings they loved to go on, were visiting friends, go to the Movies or Bingo, go out for lunch, or to the park, some also loved to go swimming and do Water exercises, drive themselves to church or Doctors appointments,
Being able to do these things reinforced in their minds their independence, and allowed them to remain in their homes for a much longer period. Most of these places were not too far from their homes, that was very important to them, as they did not like to drive long distances, for most driving at night was something that made them uncomfortable, so all their outings were organized during daylight hours.
Others may not have been able to drive a car but were possibly physically able to ride on an Electric Scooter, which helped them tremendously mentally and physically. The distances they could travel on a Scooter were limited but they could still visit friends, go to the shops, church or to keep Doctors appointments, it was really all that they wanted to do.
A great mode of Transport for all ages with a mobility disorder. Not just the elderly.
Although not perfect, this allowed them more freedom than they would have had otherwise.
Further Training
After a few years doing Home Care, I decided to do an extra training course to become a Personal Carer and a Respite Carer.
Personal Care and Respite Care were the most rewarding positions I had ever held in my life.
As the title says it was personal. Showering people every day or every other day (men and women), taking care of their Dental needs, hair, finger nails and toe nails, dressing, shaving helping to choose what to wear plus other very personal needs. Cooking them healthy food, making sure they ate 3 healthy meals a day including fruit and even their afternoon and morning teas, also that they took their medications (we were not allowed to give meds only make sure they took them). All the things we take for granted when we are young and healthy.
Providing respite
Respite. Sitting with people could be 2 hours 6 hours or overnight, take them out for a drive, where ever they would like to go, such as A picnic in the park, A movie, just look around the shopping centre, have a coffee.
I spent many enjoyable hours reading books and newspapers to my ladies and gentlemen.
The appreciation they showed was sometimes overwhelming, the life stories that they shared, some happy, some sad, were incredible. Confiding in you their very personal and private fears and concerns (you do have to take an oath of confidentially), and told with such passion like they were actually back in that moment. It could blow your mind ( in the best possible way).
There is a 'down' side . That is when you lose one of your ladies or gentlemen. You realize that it is inevitable but even so it is very very upsetting when it does happen :(
Time to retire
After 12 years in this position it took me about 6 months to decide that I needed to retire. It was so very hard to leave (in my mind I felt like I was abandoning them) which in reality was not true, there were many others that were doing the same job.
So if you are looking for the most rewarding career and feel you have what it takes, kindness and the fun of meeting these beautiful people and appreciate what they want and need, maybe you could try it. You may be very pleased you did.
I believe all of us need a little help at some point in our lives.
Seeing this written down before my eyes has brought back the most wonderful memories. :) :)
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My job required a sense of Humor
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Hi Ernestshub. Thank you ever so much for your absolutely wonderful words of appreciation and praise,I am glad you enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it.I believe it is such an important subject.:) :)
I'm honored to be the second person to comment on this hub of yours, oliversmum; it's good; very worthy cause; I commend your devotion to the elderly, 'cause it's good and because it strikes a personal note to my heart concerning my own Mom.
Nice to "meet" you on here.
You can thank earnestshub because he mentioned this hub on a forum thread and I followed it from there.
(Hi earnest).
Thank you Brenda, it is a great hub isn't it?
Brenda Durham. I am humbled by your very kind words,with this topic being so very close to my heart. I hope all is well with your mother,nice to meet you too. I will also thank earnestshub. :) :)
Hi earnestshub. a huge thank you for what you have done for me in helping me find my voice and passing on your thoughts on my hub. :) :) HUGS
oliversmum, I totally agree with Brenda and earnestshub that this is a beautiful Hub written from the heart. My partner was in exactly the same situation as you and I know how she felt as she grew into the job. I know from the way she told me of her days work just how much she and her 'ladies and gentlemen' had grown attached to each other.
I also felt her pain when they 'passed' (hugs) :-)
As earnestshub says 'you have found your voice' please continue and write some more Hubs.
Hi agvulpes.Well that is high praise coming from you.Thank you.I'm happy that your partner felt as i did in her job,yes there were sad times, but many more happy times.I hope earnestshub is right and am working on my next one.(hugs) back at ya.:) :)
Your 'ladies and gentlemen' were very lucky to have someone as caring as you in their lives. I wish elderly people in my country has recourse to something like this...many of them lead lonely, empty lives especially if their children have flown the nest.
Hi Feline Prophet.I do appreciate your kind words.That is very sad that your elderly are not taken care of as they are here , This service is carried out mainly through our local councils,leading a lonely,empty life is not good for anyone,more importantly the elderly. Thank you. (hug) :) :)
The people in your care, were more than lucky to have you. Many have no one, or worse, abusive care givers. Heartbreaking to say the least! I'm in awe of anyone who gives their hearts to others in their most vulnerable stage of life. You were a gift to them, and now us. Do share more!
Hi Candie V.Thank you.I now have tears in my eyes,not really knowing what other folks felt in their hearts about these beautiful people,it was a great pleasure for me to be there for them,yes there are abusive folks ,some related some not,now more care is available,they are not as lonely and vulnerable as they may once have been. I really miss it. thank you again. (hug) :) :)
I was reading this again, and it truly comes across that as much as they needed you, you needed them. Did I get that right? It's hard to put into words the way it works, that deep down need to be needed. Egos are so fragile at that age, to have to have someone do the most private personal care for them. To provide that care that helps them retain some of their dignity is critical.
I see that in you.
Hi Candie V.Yes you did. rightly or wrongly they become part of my family.( although we were told not to let that happen),The trust that they put in you to do those personal and private things was incredible,and yes I did need them,I would like to believe that their egos got a little lift as well,Their dignity was extremely important to them all. :) :)
It's those same boundary issues I struggled with when I was training to be a nurse (many many x lots) years ago. My heart was easily taken by many of my elderly patients, and when we'd watch them pass away, my heart ached. You may not have found my hubs on a couple of these topics, if you do, let me know what you think! I'm thrilled to get to know you, I really am!
I know many older drivers in our community that are better drivers than young people, and I am encouraged to know they can still get around to see family and friends. I am also happy to see ones who cannot drive walking or taking the bus. I believe people should be able to be as independent as possible for as long as they can possible do all these things without assistance. I have seen some older people have assistants or family members help them travel around town, which also fosters a great sense of independence. This was a very interesting topic indeed.
My good friend took her "therapy dog" to visit the peole in an assisted living home near her. She was very faithful about visiting regularly, and the people who could no longer have pets of their own, thought of Petey as their own dog.
I went with her a couple of times and listened to some of the stories of people in their nineties-- everyone has a story worth telling.
I enjoyed hearing about your experiences.
oliversmum, Rochelle Frank raises a good point with the 'therapy dog' treatment. I have seen these dogs work here in Australia and they seem to bring some of the old people out of themselves. Reading this Hub again I just don't know how you dealt with the emotional side of your job :-) (hugs)
Sweetiepie Hi. You are right some older folks are better drivers,they have more experience than the young,being able to still drive themselves around is so very important to them.some do have family or friends that come to take them out weekly or fortnightly which is also great for their wellbeing and moral. Thank you ever so much for your very kind words. :) :)
Rochelle Frank Hi.Taking Petey to the Assisted living home is a brilliant idea, I bet the smiles on these folks faces said it all,that is also done here, and some have their own resident pets,Cats and Dogs, It gives them an interest and cheers them up no end.Thank you for your kind words. :) :)
Agvulpes. Hi.Yes allowing these dogs into residential care facilities, is a brilliant idea,something that the powers that be,got right,and the residents really light up when the dogs arrive. I dont know either,I just did what I loved to do,try and make a difference,didnt think of it as a job,only that these folks were my friends.:) :):)
Wonderful information. And I have to add, that vid is one of my all time favourites. I totally forgot about it. Gets me cracking up like you wouldn't believe every time. Somehow it just never gets old.
Frieda Babbley.Hi Wow I'm chuffed,thank you for your very kind words,yes the video is funny,and hopefully show others that older folks do have a little fun sometimes,that was my aim,hope I got it right,Thanks once again.:) :)
oliversmum, thank you for posting this hub.
samboiam. Hi. You are very welcome, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Thank you for your comment. :) :)
Thank you so much for writing! Wonderful to see your kind of compassion.
Deb, thank you for taking the time to read my story, I do appreciate your kind words!
Nice to have you visit :) :)
oliversmum...
I am always touched by this devotion to helping others! It takes above all, kindness in its purest form! My Grandma will turn 95 in about a month, she´s been in bed for the last 9 months for she lost the strength in her limbs. My mom and Sis take complete care of her and call me up when there is some "lifting her up" to do. Yes, it is very important to care for our elderly as we ourselves will head in that direction sooner or later.
I am sure you have been blessed by the Great Architect! thank you for sharing!
Thumbs up!
warmest regards, love and infinite blessings,
AL
Mystique1957. Hi. It was my pleasure to work in this profession. The folks that I took care of were the most beautiful and interesting people that you could ever wish to meet. Your Grandma is so very lucky to have your mum, sister and you to take care of all her needs. A lot of folks unfortunately do not have such loving and caring children and grandchildren. Yes we will be of an age where we may need help one day. Maybe I am blessed, I would like to think so. Thank you so very much for such a beautiful comment. Love and peace to you and your family. :) :)
It is so easy to see how much you loved working with the elderly.
It is a great story, instead of all the horror stories we hear in the news about abuse and such.
It seems these people were very lucky to have you by their sides.
The hub is now posted on my blog.
Cheers
Dale
Dale Mazurek. Hi. It was my pleasure to go to work. Like a kid in a candy store, couldn't wait to get there, that may sound odd, but that is how it was. If we saw any abuse it was reported and dealt with immediately, no excuses were accepted. Yes the horror stories seem to be the only ones that sell newspapers, which to me is wrong. It is my belief that I was the lucky one. Thank you so very much for your lovely comment. And a big thank you for posting my story on your blog, that is just wonderful. :) :)
I can see your love and respect for the elderly, this is a wonderful hub.
susanlang. Hi. The love and respect I had for my Ladies and Gentleman was returned back to me twofold. It was such a wonderful feeling. I loved my career with a passion. Thank you so very much for your lovely comment. :) :)
That was an uplifting description of a career most people would never consider. It may be a choice for me as well. Thank you, and thanks for that great video, I laughed so hard when I saw that.
Alexander Mark. Hi. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful comment. I would be over the moon if you decided to do the training required to take care of the elderly, just from reading my personal experience. You sound like you could love it as much as I did. Would love to hear from you if you decide it is the career for you.Yes the elderly do have fun, and I thought the video would be a way of showing others, what great folks they are.. Thank you once again. :) :)
I had an elderly friend who had closed up her home to move in with her daughter and her family. She was close to her good-sized family and had "everything". I think, though, she liked having someone outside her family, as kind "her own, personal, social life". She was a great one for having fun and laughing. Eventually, she had a heart attack and had to decide whether to risk surgery in order to be able to breathe well. She was able to talk more freely with me about her decision, I think, than to her daughters or grandchildren.
I guess my point is that even elderly people who have close families and plenty of money can use someone outside the family to talk to. :)
Lisa HW. Hi. How very fortunate your friend was to have a wonderful family that she loved and that loved her. She must be a lovely lady. You are right a good number of folks cannot discuss certain fears, problems, even happy events that are going on in their lives at any given time with their family, To have someone outside this circle, whom they know they can confide in and trust, is so very very important to them. I do hope your friend is well and happy at this time. Thank you so very much for your comment, it is very much appreciated. :) :)
Nice of you to help the elderly. God Bless
stars439. Hi. It was my absolute pleasure to help Care for the Elderly, I am so very glad and happy that I choose this career. My Ladies and Gentlemen were all such beautiful and interesting folks. Thank you so much for your comment. :) :)
What a wonderful job and service! I slipped into helping a neighbor out near the end of her life, and despite most of my work earning me no money, I feel like I earned so much more. When you think of all these old folks have done for others in the past, it can be so rewarding to 'give back.'
Dolores Monet. Hi. Taking care of the Elderly was the best choice as a career that I could have made.
The services available in Australia are second to none, as they should be.
We really do owe our Elderly a great debt.
Your neighbor was so very fortunate to have you in their life.
Yes the money is a very small part of what you get out of, and learn from doing something like this.
They are such incredible and beautiful folks.
Thank you so much for your heartwarming comment. :) :)
oliversmum people like you are saints. The give everything and expect nothing back. I'm sure all of the people you helped would want me to give you a big Hub in appreciation!
Hi. A Saint no. You are right we did not expect to get something back, but we did by the way of the huge hugs and smiles when we arrived and the same when we left, that was so special.
Taking care of the Elderly was a wonderful career for me, and maybe could be for others.
yes I bet they would say "give her a hug" so I'm up for that.
The Elderly do have a sense of humor and some are romantics at heart.
Thanks A million for your lovely comment. :) :) (hugs)
It takes a very special person to take care of an elderly person and remain thoughtful, kind and respectful at all times. The people who can do so with class are one in a million. What great people.
mse. Hi.
In a way I guess you are right,
Taking care of the Elderly is in my personal opinion, a career that you really want to do for no other reason than to help and care for these beautiful Ladies and Gentlemen.
What you learn from them about Life, Love and how important it is to care for each other is priceless.
I loved this career, and sometimes wish that I could go back a little in time.
Thank you so very much for your lovely comment, it does mean a lot. :) :)
Deeply touching story and helpful info here. My parents died years ago-- mom went first then dad. It was hard trying to care for them while they were in their last days on earth, but my brothers, sisters and I, managed the best we could. Family movies always brings me a smile whenever I play them once or twice a year. Good hub. I enjoyed reading it!
lang58. Hi. Thank you so much. I am pleased that you found something in this hub, these Elderly Folks were such beautiful people.
That your Brothers.Sisters and yourself took care of your Parents until it was time for them to go, was not easy, that I know, but like myself that is the way you wanted it to be, and you do what is in your heart.
To have Family Movies to play when ever you feel like it must be comforting and as you say makes you smile, that is so very special.
Thank you again for your lovely comment. :) :)
I have such a great respect for care givers. I know that this job isn't easy but the passion you have for the elderly makes you shine through.
Great hub! Rated up!
beth811. Hi. Yes you are right, sometimes it was not easy and a lot of times so very sad.
These Ladies and Gentlemen were all such beautiful folks with so much knowledge and love to share. It was such a pleasure to visit them every day or week, which ever they needed and it made my career choice such a rewarding one.
Thank you so very much for your lovely comment. :) :)
realy it is a way of thanks giving. When your parents taken care of when you are a baby, same way you have to take care of your elderly parents..
Trsmd Hi. Yes that is right, our Parents do take good care of us and teach us from the minute we are born, then the responsibility is ours when they can no longer look after themselves.
In Australia we are very lucky and get a lot of help with our Elderly from the Government, which makes things a lot easier.
Thank you so much for your nice comment. :) :)
Hey, keen piece. Those who have come before us can often serve to forewarn us when it's all happening again. And regardless of age, a proper society allows its individuals to retain it's independence at all costs.
I've always adored those who've so many more years on me, oh the stories they can tell.
BTW, just a couple of editing observations: " Home Carer" may just well be career, right? :) and
"church or Doctors appointments."
Take care, and keep hubbin'!
lxxy Hi. You are right forewarned is forearmed in a lot of instances, but not always.
I agree all Countries should be taking much better care of The Elderly and all others that may need help and consideration but are not getting the proper care and attention.
Each individual has different needs, especially the Elderly and their independence is extremely important to them and in my opinion something they should have for as long as humanly possible.
My vocation, as I personally did not regard looking after the elderly as a job, was extremely rewarding and I learned so much from just being with and talking to these beautiful Folks.
When applying for this position the "job description" was Home Carer or Personal Carer. Some might call it a Career. I believe that if you do not have Respect, Love and Compassion, it would just be a job and these Folks have been around long enough to know the difference.
As Electric Scooters do not have a long range, the distance they traveled was limited, going to the Doctors or Church were outings that they could go to on their own and not rely on others to take them, and that made them happy.
Thank you for your great comment. Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. :) :)
The world could use more compassionate and caring people like you!!! I work with the elderly, and the fact is, there will be more elderly people who will need the assistance, dedication, caring and friendship of those who are capable of providing it to them. My heart breaks when I walk past the ones who sit in a chair in the hallway, never receiving a visitor, never being taken for a walk, and not even a family member coming by to say hello. We are truly, a throw away world and we need to change this attitude. We can teach our younger generations how to care for others by setting the example, as you have.
Congratulations for being an exemplary person! :)
Beth100. Hi. Yes you are right, our world does need more compassion and caring, especially for the elderly and the very young.
Most of the folks that I cared for were in their own homes,some in care facilities, not many.
Our Government and Local Councils do provide respite which includes taking the Elderly for walks or just to sit and chat or have a coffee which ever they are comfortable with. They also make sure that relatives are informed of any situation and that they visit at least once a month, not all but most comply.
Also some family members view their elderly as out of sight out of mind, which makes me sick to my stomach.
Some people care for these beautiful folks as a job that they get paid to do, others as it was in my case cared for these folks because I just loved it and them.
We do need to lead by example and hopefully we are doing that.
It is wonderful that you care for the Elderly, also that you understand how I feel.
Thank you so very much for your lovely comment it was extremely touching. :) :) and one :) for the folks that you care for.
Great hub. This is something all of us have to go through at some time. I'm currently going through it with family members and know I will be there myself someday. Thanks for sharing. Terrific!
Scriptore. Hi. Thank you. That is so very true.
I hope the decisions concerning your family are not too stressful. It comes down to what is the absolute best for them to keep them safe,happy and well cared for.
Thank you for your lovely comment. :) :)
I was second gusing myself, if I am in the right program. But after reading your article, I realized yes, I am in the right program. I am taking a 2 and half year PN program and After reading your article, it make me feel that I am in the right program. I also, took care of my mother or over 18 years, and my elder sister for 2 years. Now I am taking the time to go to college and have a career in helping other. They both passed away, but I have no regrets caring for them. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
mumsdaughter4ever. Hi. Never doubt yourself, you will know in your heart if taking care of the elderly or any age person really, that needs care is for you.
I am so happy that you have chosen to take this very special and rewarding path.
You will understand what beautiful people they are and trust, friendships and love will follow. Good luck. Would love to know how you go.
You have already taken care of your mother and sister with love and understanding and no regrets.
Taking care of family is no different to taking care of any one else. It is an absolutely wonderful path to take.
Thank you so very much for your lovely comment, and again the very best of luck. :) :)
This is a rewarding and worthwhile hub, everyone needs to spend time with their aging family members. Its so frightening when one realizes their time might be up, that's when they need us the most. My parents died young and my mother passed suddenly. When their gone their gone. Love them all you can because you never what day they may leave you. Thanks for this hub.
I am so glad that I was able to spend the time with family members in their last years. What you have done is so very important for those that do not have family members or friends that can do that for them. In effect, you become a surrogate family member. Bless you! You and others like you are very special people!
Congrats for the love and respect that you put in your important job. In this Hub I see a lovely person.
And a pleasurable writer.
susanlang Hi. Thank you.
In a perfect and caring world, that's how it should be.
It is frightening to think they many not be here tomorrow,Then it is way too late to do any thing about it. I do realize that some folks for what ever reason cannot look after elderly family members. (in my personal opinion)every day should be the best day of their lives.
I am sorry that you lost your parents at a young age, That must have been very hard for you.
My chosen career gave me so much pleasure and the knowledge,love and appreciation my beautiful men and women shared with me was incredible.
Thank you so very much for your beautiful comment. :) :)
Peggy W. Hi. You dont't have to think about spending time with your elderly relatives or friends, you just do it, that is the kind of person that you are.
I never thought of it as being a surrogate,but I guess that's what I was.
It felt like I was doing something pretty special, They really were such beautiful folks.
Thank you for your lovely comment, it is very much appreciated. :) :)
fucsia. Hi. Thank you.
It was such a joy to go into these beautiful men and women's homes, they made me feel so welcome, and taught me so much about life, love and being happy.
Thanks again for your lovely comment and compliments. :) :)
A lovely hub Olivers mum. It's good to know that there are people like you looking after elderly people who are vulnerable yet independent in their own ways. I think it's sad that there are people working with elderly people who don't actually see them as -people- which is a very sad thing indeed.
Very much voted up.
Talisker. Hi.Thank you so much.
There are a lot of people taking care of these beautiful,elderly folks,but unfortunately some do not have their best interests at heart,but fortunately where I worked they were found out and dealt with quickly and severely.
These folks depend on you and trust you completely and it is extremely sad when some carers treat them badly,it makes my blood boil.
Thanks again for your lovely comment and especially for voting it up.:):)
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earnestshub Level 2 Commenter 2 years ago
What a beautiful hub! I have learnt much from this. This demonstrates the high value of care givers, and your love of life as well as your love of people. It shines through.
Congratulations on a superb hub Oliversmum!